483. Nellie Unfiltered and Unhinged

On this episode, Nellie emphasizes the importance of authenticity and direct communication, advocating for a life free from passive aggressiveness. She discusses her journey from a stressful, high-earning lifestyle to a simpler, happier one, highlighting the benefits of minimalism and inner peace. She encourages listeners to overcome their fears, using the metaphor of outrunning a bear to symbolize taking action towards their goals. The speaker stresses the importance of making moves, whether small or large, to achieve success and happiness, and urges listeners to focus on quality time and experiences over material possessions.

We will touch on:

• Embracing Honesty and Rejecting Passive Aggressiveness
• Transitioning to a Simpler, Happier Life
• The Importance of Inner Peace and Quality Time
• Overcoming Fear and Taking Action
• The Power of Survival Instincts and Making Moves
• The Role of Action in Achieving Success
• The Importance of Flexibility and Adaptability
• The Wealthy Mama Movement and Its Purpose
• The Role of Money and Action in Achieving Goals
• The Importance of Making Moves and Overcoming Fear

Let's Take Some Action:

• Make a move and do not let fear stop you.
• Set a 5-minute timer to allow yourself to whine or overthink, then make a move.
• Ask yourself "What's your next move?" and then go do it.

Transcript

Unknown: 1:24

Welcome to Nelly unhinged. We're gonna find out together. I think we hold ourselves back too much as women, so tell me how you're really feeling. Like, can we just have, like, an unfiltered, unhinged conversation? I am just not. I don't love small talk. I don't love like. If I don't know how you're really feeling, how can we really have a relationship? Am I right like? And sometimes it can, it can not hurt, but it can be hard to hear certain things. But at the end of the day, if we really know how we are feeling, and if we really know how people we love are feeling, isn't that better, like, Isn't that better than a bunch of fake ass relationships and passive aggressiveness, like I the most draining thing to me is passive aggressiveness like I am just, I like, I just, I'm getting too old for for it. I'm like, I don't have time for pass passive aggressiveness. I don't want to have time for passive aggressiveness. Like, can we just be loving and direct and like, move forward. Like, it's just, and like, this is no, this is not like, pointed at anyone. This is just for seeing what shows, what shows up. Because, yeah, like, I just, I don't, I'm not available for passive aggressiveness. I it's just, it's not a vibe. It's not a vibe I want to be and the the whole goal of this year has been about vibes, vibes, vibes, vibes like from my clothes to my makeup to my mind to my home to my business to my who I surround myself with, to the music to Like my day to day. Everything has been about engineering the vibes that I want. I have really released like what I thought I wanted, because it really wasn't what I wanted. And I'm so glad, because that stuff felt so heavy, and I just want a simple life, like, I want to be able to be with my babies, get my workout in, have a cute outfit on, have an amazing team, you know, go to Target every now and then, go to TJ Maxx every now and then, Go to the beach, like, just a really, actually chill, simple life, like i And the cool part about a simple life is you don't, then really need much. I think in years past, I was living so much out of my comfort zone, and my whole body constantly felt so tense, so tense. Because from the beginning, right and every day, there was always so much pressure I was putting on myself. And when, like, when your lifestyle is so complicated, like, there's so much expenses. It like it can be so hard. Like, I was talking to somebody a while ago, and she was really interested in passive income. Like she has a few clients that pay her really, really well, but she is, like, strapped to her desk, and she has been following me for a while, and she goes like, your lifestyle is what I desire, but I'm not willing to give up the money, like she's getting paid really, really well from a handful of clients, but she's so unhappy, and I get it, I've been where she's at, and it can be like this big brick wall that You can't see through, like a brick wall. You literally can't see what's on the other side. And no one can, like, I can't convince her that she'll be wildly success, successful. She's not, you know, willing to do MRR, which is like, selling other people's products for 100% the profits. I was brainstorming other things with her, and so like, I where she it is when I was talking to her, where it was where I was a few years ago. And I just like I, I couldn't convince myself right, the fear, right? I couldn't convince myself that, like, the lifestyle that I desired, I could get paid in easier ways, which is a huge money block, a huge one, especially for women. I don't even know what I'm putting on my face, like I'm just grabbing shit and putting that's where we're at. I'm just I am not the makeup episode. Sport. I love makeup, but I'm just grabbing things as I'm talking to you. I like, I know what to do with this. There we go, but I could not see on the other side, and I was literally so afraid, so crippled, so exhausted, that I was making really good money, right? Like making really, really good money. But was it, it? It was so exhausting, so exhausting. So when I finally just focused on, like, what is the quality of life that I desire, and when I can make it so simple and so minimalist, you can actually achieve it really fast. Like, do I really need a million dollar home that has 11 bathrooms? No, I don't. I don't want that. You know how many? Like, I have a challenging time trying to keep up with three bathrooms. So to have 11 why do we need 11 bathrooms? Right? Like, I don't want to furnish that, I don't want to clean the bathrooms. I don't want to pay the property taxes on it. And so it's like your like, alignment is so important. We subconsciously think that we want all of these things. But really, at the end of the day, if you have them and you're stressed out as like, is it even worth it? Because that person that's so stressed out on the other like, she's making really good money, but she is so unhappy, and happy people live longer, like, happy people live longer they do. And I plan to live to at least 100 and be like, hot doing it. And so, you know, skin care is important, right? But, like, it's the inner stuff that is so much more important. And so, like, I just want us to get out of chasing the the G wagons get us chased. Like, get us out of chasing the mansion. Get us out of chasing the the yacht. Like, you can definitely want those things. But like, can we first just have inner peace. Can we have a wallet that is like, stuffed full of cash? Can we have a home that feels happy and clean and organized? And can you, like, go on a date night with either yourself or your significant other or your girlfriend. Like, a couple weeks ago, em and Sarah and I went to margaritas. And, like, I would rather pick that than somebody hand me a million dollars. And I have to be, like, stressed out like that. We had such great conversation, and it was just so enjoyable and so fun, and we, like, weren't rushed, like, that's what I desire, like, driving to the Taylor Swift concert and having, like, the time of our lives. That's what I desire. Like, I am a sucker for quality time, and so that's my biggest love language. And so in order to create a quality life, the the simpler I make it, the happier I am. And guess what? I am making pretty close to what I used to make with way less time, way less stress. And it's only going to continue and so and I'm keeping more because I made a ton, but I also had a huge team. I had multiple office spaces, I had, you know, I was in, you know, multiple different programs. And, like, it was just, it was a lot, it was it was a lot. And so the easier we can make it, the better. That's what I'm here for. That's how I can help you. Like, I want to make this so easy. Again, I'm just grabbing I want to make this so easy to win like, and I want to show moms that like, you don't have to be stressed out. Like, motherhood is already hard enough. Can we just make your business so fucking easy? Like, so easy. Like, the next round of the mini mind, I'm already, like, it's all about automation. Like, hands down. How can we bomb proof your business that it can literally be making money for you when you're at Target, when you're at the playground, right? Like, the next round of the mini mine will be early winter, slash spring, which is perfect, like, Let's Get Your Business automated before summer, so you can literally be making money at the pool, like you can be making money when your kids are running around, like you can be cleaning your house like that. What I desire, that's what I desire for, for moms, like, it's, it's about the time, well, the schedule freedom really like, because the money will come, like the money will come. There's so many easier ways to make money, and we don't have to complicate it so much. But like the fear. The fear is what stops so many people from believing that there's an easier way, and I do get it, so we're going to use fear to our advantage. Okay, just, just hang with me as I put on my face here. Okay, just hang with me. Okay. So what do you feel afraid of right now? Tell me in the chat, literally, this is not a rhetorical question. Tell me what you're afraid of in the chat. Okay, tell me what you're afraid of. So one of my biggest fears, I'll just go first, okay, as you're as you're thinking about it, even if you're watching the replay, tell me what you're afraid of. Okay, we're going to use this to our advantage, because to tell you not to be afraid of something is not going to work. Like, it's like, telling somebody don't look up, and they're like, but I really want to look up right? Like, that's just human nature. So instead of trying to tell you not to do something, we're going to lean into it. So one of my biggest fears is letting people I love down. I like, I will let myself down before I will let other people down that I love so much, because I respect them so much, I care about them, I want the best for them, and there is a balance there, right? Like, I definitely have been working on, like, I also don't want to let myself down, but we're talking about the fear, right, not logically what it should be, but like the fear, the deep rooted fear, I do not want to disappoint somebody. I love my kids, my significant other, my team, my clients, my students, right? Like I it keeps me up at night. It stresses me out. Okay, so we're going to use this to our advantage, okay? Because let's say that fear of whatever you have is a bear running at you. Okay? Are you gonna, like, look at an eye and be like, Oh, I'm just gonna stay here stuck. I'm just going to overthink, should I run that way? Should I run that way again? This is, this is me unhinged. If there was a bear, okay, the bear is the the deep rooted fear that you have. Okay, there was an actual fucking, legitimately gnarly bear that had, like, drool coming out of their mouths, and they were like, right, like they were running towards you. Okay. You wouldn't stay stuck. You wouldn't stay stuck. You wouldn't overthink. You wouldn't think, should I go that way? Should I go that way? Should I, you know, roll? Should I skip? You would fucking just move. You would move. You wouldn't like your instincts, your survival instincts, would just be, like, get the fuck out of there. Get the fuck out of there. There is a bear running at you. Go right, if you have to, like, Skip, run, like, start to try to fly, if you, if you can, like, just find the way. Find the way. So, like, it's not saying that the fear isn't there. The fear is legitimately there. But so often, the fear cripples so many people that they're just like, days go by weeks, go by months, go by years, go by and they're just like, they're just there, they're just so stuck. Or they'll like, they're just walking in circles, even if you're walking in circles, right? Like, let's say you have this offer in mind, and we just keep walking in circles, and we haven't talked about it, we're just walking in circles and walking in circles. Even if you were walking in circles, if a bear was coming at you, you'd get eaten alive, right? Like, if you stayed stuck, you'd get eaten alive. If you walked in circles, you would get eaten alive. If you, you know, just sat there and over, over like, overthinking mode of like, should I go that way? Should I go that way? You would get eaten alive, right? And so when we can actually use the deep rooted fear to say, Get the out of there and run so fast that the bear cannot catch up with you. Okay, your body will probably be a little tense, right, because something big and scary just happened. But isn't it better to get the fuck out of there and regulate yourself and be like, holy shit. I like, I survived. I ran faster than the bear. Isn't that better, right? So this is how we're going to use the fear of whatever that is. Okay? We're gonna use the fear to our advantage to get the fuck out of there. I don't care if you go right? I don't care if you go left, left. I don't care if you start rolling or or dancing, but whatever you gotta do, get the out of there. And what I don't mean by that is run away from your dreams. Run away from the thing that you desire, the we're running away from the fear, okay, and we're getting the f out of there. And so what this is going to do is, yes, there's going to be that, like survival instinct that happens. We will need to regulate ourselves, but it's so much better than the alternative. And that's the most important thing about fear, in my opinion, is you've got to fear more getting eaten alive in this, you know, hypothetical situation, you got to fear that more so that, that way you can get the out of there. Because there's, we're focusing on one fear, but there's actually two fears, okay, there's the fear of getting eating eaten alive, and the fear of, like, Oh my gosh. Like, I don't want to get eaten alive, so I'm going to get the out of there, right? So, like, the the fear of getting eaten alive is stronger and bigger, so therefore your survival instincts, okay. Do I have your attention? Your survival instincts kick in. Okay, literally, I'm staffing for your brain. Okay, let's see if I can snap there. Okay, your brain needs to pay attention right now, the survival instincts are so deep rooted in you, it is like the deepest operating system that we can actually use it to our advantage. So when we whatever that fear is, so for me, it's letting the people down that I love. So can I just, I could wallow in that and be like, Oh my gosh, I don't want to let them down. So I'm just going to stay stuck, and I'm going to not, like, make a move, because it's just so fearful, and I I don't want to make a mistake, and like, I could do that, but if I do that, then I'm picking the bear. I'm picking the bear eating me alive, and when I get eaten alive, I can't do anything about it, so the fear actually would win, right? So that's not the one that we want to pick. So we want to use that to our advantage. Have the survival instincts come in and we want to run away. We want to run away from that fear so fast that it has no chance of catching up to you, no chance. And then from there, you can regulate, and you can be like, Oh my gosh, I got out of there. Oh, that was scary, right? Like, we're acknowledging those emotions. We're acknowledging the feelings, okay? But there is a period of time that you've got to get the out of there. Survival instincts aren't a bad thing. There are going to be chapters in your life and your business, that we do need our survival instincts to kick in. We do need to get the fuck out of there and move forward. I don't believe you need to know it all to get the fuck out of there, right? You may not know when a bear is chasing you, that there's a town right down the hill, right? You may not know that, but you just start running. You start moving right, you start moving. And then you'll be like, Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, there's a town. Okay, I'm gonna run, run, run, run, run, right. And then they like, the town sees you running, and then they see the bear chasing you. And guess what? Then that town right? That community can rally with you and be like, okay, like they know what to do, right? They're like, oh, like, we know what to do. And then you can run to safety, and then they can take care of the bear, right? If you want to win, if you want to beat fear, choose the fear that you want that is less okay. So like, is it fearful to run away? Yes, it is scary because there could still be a chance that you are, that you could get eaten alive, but you actually decrease your chances, right? So again, fear less, fear dash less. So pick the the lesser fear and run. Okay? Because when we pick the fear that we fear the most, and we stay stuck, which is the bear, then we have little, little to no chance of winning. And so this is important, because when you set yourself up for success from the beginning, you're going to win. You're going to win. So I need you to put on your running shoes, and I need. You to get the fuck out of your fear. Okay, make a move, run. Do not wait. Do not wait, move and then move again, and then move again. You're gonna get there, like you're going to get there. The fear is trying to keep you trapped. It's trying to keep you stuck, stuck. Are you really going to let it win? Like, are you really going to let it win? Because at that point, when you choose the bear, you can't be mad that you're eaten alive like, you can't like, if that's the fear that you choose, then you have to be at peace with what you chose, you have to be at peace, okay, and you can always choose again, because even if you've been stuck for years, okay, your brain may be like, Well, what's going to be different about this time? What's different about this time as you're going to run and you're not going to stop, you're not going to look back. We're not going in the past. Okay? You've got to let go of the past, whether it's good, bad and different, like press the reset button and you've got to let go. Run away. Run away. This time is different because you're making different moves. Okay? Say that with me, this time is different because I'm making different moves and I'm not going to stop. Okay, I don't care how many times you have self sabotage. I don't care how many times you have tried and failed. I don't care how many times you've let the fear win, right? This is like a video game, even if you've, you know, it's been game over before. In a video game, you can read, you can play again until somebody takes your controller away. You get another shot to play. So having the opportunity to be in this game is massive. It really is. There are past generations that did not have access to the internet that it almost made it almost impossible for women to make money. There was a point where a woman couldn't even be on the mortgage, she couldn't even get a credit card, she couldn't even get a business loan. Yup, for fucking having a vagina, it don't even get me started on feminist topics, like, Don't even get me started. Don't even get me started. That'll be another unhinged episode. But guess what? Now we can be on a mortgage. Now we can be on social media. Okay, ladies. Now we can create offers and pick any price that we want that feels good to us. Okay, stop overthinking your price. If I hear another person be like, I just don't know what to pick. You know what? I want you to put a bunch of numbers and a hat, and I want you to draw a number. Yep, that's what I want you to do. I want you to draw a number. Because, again, that is not something that we should be taking days, weeks, months, to decide, pick a number. And it can change, okay, if, if, if there is something that you are overthinking for more than five minutes that is not going to matter in five years, you are spending too much time, too much time, and we say all the time as women, we don't have enough time. Well, let's look at where, where it's going. Let's look at the overthinking. Let's look at the stuckness. Let's look at the worry. Let's look at the fear. We always say, like we should scroll less. Okay, is that really? Is that really where all of our time is going? No, it's going to the overthinking. It's going to the worrying. It's going to the fear, fucking let it go. Make a move. Make a move. Make a move. Make a move. Make a move. If you are deciding to call yourself an entrepreneur, you gotta move, baby. You gotta move. You gotta move. You've gotta move. And guess what? The fear is gonna be there, like it's gonna be there, but it doesn't have to stop you. Okay? So you've gotta train yourself. Okay, you've gotta train yourself to put time limits on things. Okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna whine about this for five minutes. That's okay. I do that all the time. I'm like, I need five minutes to whine about this. Okay, go ahead. Get it out, right. Kick and scream, cuss, whatever you gotta do. I'm gonna overthink this for five minutes. Okay, great. Overthink it for five minutes, and then when that timer goes off, make a move. Make a move. You could make so many moves today, when you run away from the bear, run away from the bear, make it a fun game. See. How many moves you could make today. Don't worry about doing them in a perfect order. Don't worry about where it's going to take you. Just run. Just run. Make a move. Make a move. Make a move. Make a move. Make a move. Make a move. Make a move. Make a move. Okay, no more overthinking for more than five minutes, because I can't tell you to not overthink, because then you're going to want to do it. So going to want to do it. So give yourself five minutes. Okay, five minutes to whine, five minutes to be stuck, five minutes to overthink and then be like, Okay, what am I going to do about it if you really want to be an entrepreneur and you want to make a fuck ton of money, guess what? Money? What are the first two letters? I've been really breaking down words because I think it's really fascinating to me. This has been a trend that I've been seeing. What are the first two letters of money? M O, okay, move. Right? You gotta move. M O, you gotta move. Money loves attention. Money loves focus. Money loves knowing that you want it. Money loves action. So it will catch up with you. It will make so many moves that it's literally inevitable that money finds you Right. Like, if you tear your whole house up and you like, go through everything, you could find a pile of things that you want to sell. You could probably find some cash in a pocket. You would probably find some gift cards. You'd probably find some coins, right? If you went out and you walked everywhere in your town, you'd probably find a penny. You'd probably find a dime, right? Maybe you would run into somebody that you haven't seen in a while, and they're like, oh my gosh, how are you? And you catch up, and you tell them what you're doing, and they're like, it's so funny, because I've been thinking about you, right? This happens all the time. Action takers are money makers. You don't have to know the whole path. You don't have to do it in any certain order. Make a move, make a move and make it the funnest game ever. And you will shock yourself. So use the bear example to your advantage with any deep rooted fear that you have, because we're humans, we do have fears to tell you not to fear at all, right? It doesn't exist, which is why this is the fear dash less challenge, not fear less. Right? Like to tell you to not fear would be telling you to not honor your thoughts, beliefs, emotions. That's not what we do here, but what we do do here is we move towards our goals and dreams. We become the best version of ourselves, even when we have fears, even when we have trauma, even when we have a challenging day, we move forward this like it's the wealthy mama. Move meant there are no accidents. We're here for the action takers. I know you will be wildly successful if you're willing to make moves and if you're willing to make moves until you reach your goal. So like, with the two Taylor Swift tickets, we made so many fucking moves. Like, I wish I could, like, literally, like, I wish you could have been in every conversation, every every moment of manifesting the two Taylor Swift tickets like I'll never forget when I spoke at a conference, and it was years ago, but they got a they got Damon John to come speak, and they got Gary V to come speak, and I was so amazed that they got those big names. And I asked the the event host. I was like, how did you make that happen? How did you make that happen? And he goes, I wrote a check. I wrote a check, and I just laughed, because I was like, wow, okay, that's the power of money, right? Like, that's the power of money. We bought the Taylor Swift tickets, but did we have to make some moves to make it happen? Yes, yes, we did. Yes we did, but we we know that we can do that, and so that's what we did. You are never stuck as an entrepreneur. You have access to offers. You have access to billions of people on the internet. You are never stuck. Whatever you desire can be yours. Like it can absolutely be yours if you're willing to make the moves and if you're willing to not stop I was even willing to drive to Indy, even without tickets, and try to figure it out. Like that was kind of like my backup plan of backup plans, like I was. I was willing to do that because Indy from Ohio is like a two hour drive. I was like, maybe I'll just go and like, who knows what could happen, right? Like, you just never know. You never know. But when you're making moves, the money finds you. The opportunities find you. You find the opportunities as well, and you find the money, it's like a both and and. So like the The Wealthy Mama Movement is for all women that are willing to make the moves, and when you're willing to make the moves, we can help you be wildly successful. Wildly successful. So my next question to you is, what's your next move? What is it? Then go do that, and then ask yourself again, what's my next move? And then ask yourself again, we do not need I know it can be comforting to have every single step I do. I know I'm like, I'm a very type a person. Focus on where you're wanting to go. That's what I want you to know. That's what I want you to be so fucking crystal clear on be very flexible on how we get there. We were looking at Taylor Swift concert tickets in New Orleans. We were looking in Indy. We even looked at Miami. We looked at every possible scenario, we were very flexible with how we could make this happen, how we can make this happen, and that helps your brain be able to have the opportunity to think about all the to think about all the possible ways there. If we're so pigeon holed on it needs to be this, these steps and the this order, you block yourself from other opportunities that could actually be better. So, you know, last Thursday night, I had the epiphany of, like, oh my gosh, let's buy two, two pairs of tickets, and let's just see if I can make that happen. And I ran a search, and I literally found two pairs of tickets in the same exact section, which is so rare, and it was a fraction of the cost of finding four together, because, I mean, it's slim pickings, right? And so I knew in that moment, like, these are the tickets. I've got to make the move. I've got to make the move. I've got to trust myself enough that this is not an impulsive decision. It was literally 30 days of manifesting, which, if anyone knows, ADHD impulsiveness isn't like, within like, the first few hours or days. So like, the fact that I, like, was still obsessed with this 30 days later, I'm like, This is not an impulsive decision. This is not an impulsive move. This is a very calculated, strategic move. And so it did feel really calming and good, but still a little scary when making it happen. But I just knew again, I couldn't get eaten alive by the fear. I had to run towards the dream and the desire. And now this is a moment in time that, like, I'll never forget, I'll never forget, I'll look back and be proud. I'll look back on the memories of this like I can't wait to see who wins the tickets, like the anticipation is so fun, the anticipation is so good, and so it's worth every penny. It's worth every penny, Money comes and goes, which it should like it's it's going to keep flowing, it's going to keep coming. And that's like the trust is so big. Okay, so I hope you enjoyed this episode of Nelly unhinged. She will be back after this commercial break, sponsored by target, but go make a move. Don't let the fear eat you alive, aka the bear. Do not, do not refuse. Refuse to let it eat you alive. And the only way, if it was an actual bear, of it not eating you alive, is to run away. To run away. Not run away from what you desire, but run away from the fear so run towards your goals and dreams by making a move and then another move, and then another move, and then another move, and then another move and another move. Money is about numbers, the more moves you make, right? It literally is going to work to your advantage. Like every move that you make is going to compound that it's all going to work to your advantage. So go make a move. I love you. Do.