285. Let's Talk About Limiting Beliefs - Part Two

On this episode, we will talk about limiting beliefs. 

• What’s underneath the limiting belief. 
• How to use the Draw the Line tool
• How to let go of limiting beliefs and embrace the mess.

There are two parts, so be sure to catch the first episode if you missed it. #momlife


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Transcript

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Okay, part two of loving beliefs. Thank you for the poop commercial break that we had to go on. I don't mean to talk about my mind. Nice group, but there was there was a lot of poop. There was a lot of poop was in there. Yeah. Okay, Mommy gets to finish this, okay? It's just, it is funny. I just it wouldn't be my life. Like I just I, I've been working with my energy coach. And I'm like, I just, I feel like I should be leaning into all of this because it is my life. And why work against it. Like when life gives you lemons, you make some lemonade. So, alright, let's go to the second limiting belief that I talked about, because I talked about it real quick. And I wanted to dig into it. So I have formed limiting beliefs that are the biggest and the strongest right now. And if we're not careful, they can run the show. Okay, and we'll talk about that here in a second. So the second one is, when are enough, people are going to see my work, just super raw and real. And this is a limiting belief, because there's more people that I want in our ecosystem that I want them to choose in. And, and I want them to not, I recorded a really, really raw video the other day. And I actually went back and watched it. It's for Docu or dark that I could talk or Docu series. And it was there, it was probably the most raw video I ever have recorded. And it was just in the moment all of my fields. And I said that line. In that video, I said when are enough people going to see my work. And this is a limiting belief, because There absolutely are people that see my work. But it definitely feels like a limiting belief because it is putting the power in everyone else's hands. And not mine. Like when are enough people going to see my work, right. So this can happen in business when you are putting in the time. But you're not necessarily reaping the rewards to the level that you desire. Right now, what are you doing this fall? Emma? Okay, Mommy wants to finish this video. Okay. I know you're making sounds, but I just want to finish this really quickly. Okay. So that's a deep, raw real one that I'm working through. And there's, there's always layers underneath the limiting belief. Like I like to call this the Y under the Y under the Y. So like eight may be I don't have enough time. But really what, what what's underneath the iceberg, right? Like underneath the surface, because the iceberg is so much bigger underneath the surface. So whatever limiting belief, whatever broken record, you're saying out loud, there's probably something so much deeper, which is why it's so powerful to journal about this. So the third one is, I can't successfully hold a 10 million plus company, like, there's no way like this, I'm just telling you like this is the negative narrative, right? The negative belief, like, there's no way that I can do that with two babies. And the lifestyle that I want, right? Like, everyone, like, again, this is like a negative narrative. Like everyone always wants to come back to me. So then it always falls back on my shoulders. Okay, I'll be quiet. So we don't like that. And then the fourth limiting belief is I am so tired, like having a pregnancy that drained my energy. And then also like sleep effort, deprivation for months, sleep regression, all the things, having another one that doesn't like to go to sleep early. So I like get one kid to bed but then I have another kid that won't sleep. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry. So it just like I feel like I'm a nurse 24/7. Okay, so the like I'm sitting in the swamp is what some people call it like, I'm sitting in all of this and allowing it to be okay, not feeling like I have to fix myself or make myself feel bad or wrong. It's a slippery slope. Because when you're like venting to somebody or venting to yourself, it can. Like let's just go to like venting to yourself. It can feel so easy to like, Okay, well like just wipe your tears and like move on with your life. But that's not truly that's like putting a bandaid on it right and then If you're if someone else is venting to you have like a negative belief and you grow your if you just go like, Oh, well, that's not true, it completely diminishes their, their feelings. So one of my favorite things to say to people and even myself is like, your feelings are valid. Like, sometimes we just need to hear that, like, as a human, we are supposed to feel all the emotions in the emotion wheel, okay? It doesn't mean that they're always fun. It doesn't mean that like we don't like we don't want to stay in frustration, we don't want to stay in anger, we don't want to stay in the the, the emotions that don't necessarily serve us long term. But equally, when you feel those, you then appreciate the other emotions so much more, right. And so one of the best thing that you can say to yourself and other people when they're there in the swamp, right when they're in the negative narrative, is to let them be there for a minute, right? Like, we don't want to be there forever. But let them be there for a moment, or yourself and say Your feelings are valid. Okay, you could literally do this to yourself to your feelings are valid. So the very raw video that all eventually released in the making of the movement. I wanted to watch it to honor myself because I was brave enough to at least record it. And brave enough, just not even if I didn't record it. But just to like release those emotions. We can't keep that inside, we're not supposed to keep it inside, we're not supposed to hide out. But since so many times we've been, you know, pushed down or made small of like, you know, suck it up buttercup type of thing. We don't feel safe, right? And so I just want to change that, like, I just want to change it and normalize it and celebrate it. Because we can just do so much more when we when we honor those emotions for ourselves and others. So let me teach you the tool because it's getting a little crazy over here. Thanks for bearing with me. Have you ever seen the crazy emoji where the eyes are kind of like different sizes and the tongue is hanging out? That's probably my favorite emoji because that's how I feel. That's how I feel. Okay, so let me get back to the the tool. So you're gonna, right? Yes. Yes, ma'am. You want to help me draw? Okay, well, let me show this and then you can help me draw. Okay. So on the left side is as many limiting beliefs as you can write down. Okay. So I just told you, I just shared mine with you. Okay. And then the right side is going to say the new beliefs that we're going to adopt, it's not going to necessarily necessarily feel true when you're in the deep swamp, right. But we can choose again, I love when Gabby or Gabrielle Bernstein if you know her. She just says choose again and choose again and choose again and choose again. So when I say the limiting belief, I don't have enough time, what could I believe right now? Okay, so something I would not believe is I have all the time in the world, right? That's pretty much not true, right? Like I would be doing a quiet live video right now. If that were true, right? Like meaning like I have all the time to focus or something. Because that's really what I mean by I don't have enough time. Like I don't have enough time to do the business things that I really want to do the creativity more than anything like the creativity side. Because I'm just a creative being and so when you don't feel as like an artist, you have enough time to do all the things it like you're like creatives need movement, meaning like if an artist like a painter couldn't get to a canvas to paint they start to feel like stir crazy that's how I can describe this. So when I don't have enough time to be creative see the why under the why I'm like, it's like coming up in real time with you. So that's kind of cool. But like then you start to get unsettled you start to get antsy, you start to get like, I'm just like, like exactly like my body language right now. Like, I just like, you're like yeah, I need to go I need to do I need to be I need to create like, that's why it's one of the reasons why I love my business. So what is a new belief that I could adopt that I actually believe I have enough time to do one thing A day to move my business forward or to be creative, right? Like a training like this does make me feel super creative, like expressive, right? Which is a lot of times why I use visual aids because I am a creative, right? Like, just wait till you see my big, big board. If you haven't seen my big digital board, it makes me so happy. It's like a giant iPad, you have to come over and play with it when it gets moved to the office. But that is a new belief that I would believe I have, I have time to do at least one thing a day, whether it's like a business move or a creative move, but it's one thing a day, to be creative, we're gonna go ahead and adopt that one one thing a day, to be creative. To be creative. That's why I love fashion. That's why I love makeup. Like you're just getting to know me more than you probably signed up for. But I can believe that, right? Like, and so you're gonna want to look at your your piece of paper and be like, can I believe that? Right? So now I want to like Teach you like the next step. Whatever we can believe that we can always build, like, once we feel that and believe that, then we can start to believe something more. Right? So once I believe the one thing a day to be creative. come June, when I have full time childcare for both children. Right? Then I'm going to have more time. Right? So what's my new belief, then? I can have a whole creative the day, right? I believe that like I can block off the time and honor that. Yes, ma'am. So you're just gonna want to keep going through all of yours. And then anytime the old limiting beliefs tries to override the new belief, okay? You'd like you can put these on post it notes. You can just like work on one at a time if you'd like. But anytime you feel a limiting belief, there's just a couple of things that you can do. And there's no wrong answer. Like I really love coaching and mentoring people in a space where you just never feel wrong. It's like really empowering. Like, there's no right or wrong. There's just there is like, they're just what what is it right? Like, what is it going to do? Like, what can we do to serve you best, right? There's no right or wrong. And like, this is just like a really cool, powerful space to be in when nothing is wrong. Because our whole life, we're told that we do things wrong, right? Like, oh my gosh, am I gonna get in trouble? Oh, my gosh, am I gonna go to the principal's office? Oh, my gosh, I got a C instead of a B, right. Like I'm, I didn't do as good of a job, right? Like, so when you can just be in a space where like, it's never wrong. And there's never one right answer. There's lots of right answers. It's just a fun playground to be on. And that's the playground I want to be on. But with that being said, there's a few things you can do when the limiting beliefs show up, depending on where you're at, and the emotional wheel, okay. And if you don't know what the emotional wheel is just Google it. It's very helpful for kids. If you ever noticed kids, we can learn so much from kids. Although it is challenging to be a mom, there's just so much that we can learn like she is truly a mirror of my authentic self. And kids typically will have a tantrum for a couple of minutes, and then they're over it. Like, they're just like, Okay, I'm gonna go back to playing. And adults, we actually don't do that. We stuffed it down and stuff it down and then just like, it's festering, it's weighing on you right? And it's not serving you. And then another thing happens and then that builds on top of the last one and then the last one and the last one and no wonder like we get sick No wonder we have back pain. No wonder we don't feel motivated. We're carrying so much shit around. We just got to literally release it. We get to be more like kids have our tantrum that was me in the car. The other day, I was just like, it wasn't even like a, you know, traditional tantrum. Like you don't always have to be kicking and screaming. a tantrum to me is like releasing, right, like, let it be, release it and there's always a time and a place to do that. So I was in my car alone with my baby sitting in the backseat because he needed fed. And I just literally had my tantrum, and I wiped my tears. I took some deep breaths. And then I said, Okay, let's choose again, right, like what's the next best thing? Right? And so I learned this from one of my friends Dr. Lee Cordell. This is a great tip for you that I learned from her when a woman And or anyone is crying, don't hand them tissues, because it already tells her she's got to clean up her mess. Like, let's celebrate the tantrums. Let's celebrate the limiting beliefs. Let's celebrate the challenges. Let's embrace the mess, let's embrace you just like, however your lifestyle is right now let's embrace it, and let's move forward towards your wealthy life like, and so when I was working with my energy coach, and I was like, I just feel like today was a rebirth. Because I'm just allowing myself to be in the mess, be in the journey be in the reality that I'm in right now and not pretend that I'm not like. And that's not to say that like, I can do things to help me, right, like full time childcare is coming. But like, right now, in this moment, I'm sitting in my daughter's room because I made a promise to do a podcast a day, because we have sponsors, and I don't want to let my sponsors down. If they picked a day they pick today, and I want to shout them out. And so if I didn't have time early in their day, my ass is going to be doing it before my head hits the pillow, because that was my word, right? And so, like, we can't let the limiting beliefs when they're going to happen, right? I'm going to be completely honest with you. I took a nap for 30 minutes, like an hour ago to like, have enough energy to do this and be my word. So like, sometimes, that felt good. I was like, I could either suck it up and do it but not have the energy that I really want to like, give my like, give my all I could not do it. And let somebody down. Or Yes. Oh the pen. That's a that's a an apple pen is like sacred thing. So sacred. Magic. Magic. Are you ready? Okay, you can have it for one second. Okay, I don't even know what I was saying. Be in the mess. Be in the mess, be where you are. Embrace it. Don't make yourself wrong. Celebrate the limiting beliefs. Don't let them stop you. Like let's just call them out as if they're like a friend like, Oh, hey there. Hey, there my anxiety or what's up? Right? Like, Oh, I see you. Imposter syndrome. How you doing? Right? Like, if you could just imagine, like a table full of your limiting beliefs, it actually kind of makes it hilarious. There's actually a video that I want to recreate that is very similar to this, I think it's hilarious. It's going to take a minute, probably when there's full time childcare, but it's like a creative idea that I have. If you're creative, you know, you have like a million ideas. And you're like, man, like, I know, like, I want to do the ball and I have to do them right now. I get you, I feel unlike the deepest level possible. But we can do one thing, we can do one creative thing a day and feel amazing. And then we can put all of the other ones on a parking lot list. And then keep working off of that, or creative lists, maybe not even a parking lot list. But we're not going to let the limiting beliefs stop us, they're going to be there. They're a committee of people sitting around a table. And we're going to like laugh our way through it, feel our way through it, and be at the head of the table, right like be in charge be at the head of the table. This tool I've used for years, it's a great exercise, you can teach your kids to do it. If you have any clients going through limiting beliefs because like, you're working with humans, too, right? Like, so this isn't just beneficial to you, like, no matter if you're in a day job, or you have one on one clients, or you have a group of people, just remember that you're working with humans that equally have their own limiting beliefs. And even if this isn't, quote, unquote, like, your zone of expertise or your zone of genius you can be you can be empathetic, right? You can say your feelings are valid, and it's going to be drastically different. They're gonna have a drastically different experience with you. Because you're acknowledging them they feel seen and heard, and doesn't mean that you have to full on support them through anything that they're going through. But sometimes we just need that acknowledgement. Your feelings are valid. When Emma is having big emotions. I literally even say this to her. I'm like, Okay, let's breathe. Your feelings are valid. Let's work through this together. Choose again, right? And she's like, even like sat down and like meditated herself. You like to meditate, don't you? Yep. So these are just tools that like a lot of us did not learn growing up. I have to be quiet now. But a lot of us didn't learn these tools when we were little. And so we've gone in, we've gone through our whole life, trying to survive, and just blind because we don't know how to navigate these emotions. So I'm finally figuring it out, which feels really good. And just loving to share it all. So I hope you take something away from the two parts besides the poop. But Kathy, thank you so much for being a sponsor. I love you so much. I'm so proud of you. And please take this exercise. I hope it blesses your life. And I'll see you back tomorrow. I think we have a sponsor for tomorrow. I'm not going anywhere. You'll see