Money Making Mama Podcast

276. Let's Chat About Boundaries!

May 01, 2023 Nellie
Money Making Mama Podcast
276. Let's Chat About Boundaries!
Show Notes Transcript

On today's episode, we chat about boundaries!! If you’re a recovering people pleaser, this episode is for you. 

  • There is a time and a place for everyone. 
  • Think about what is serving you and what is not serving you. 
  • The importance of being open and honest with people about your boundaries.
  • You have to be your own police and be disciplined.
  • You can protect your big goals and dreams by setting and communicating your boundaries. 

It can be such a hard conversation sometimes, but so worth it. Because you are worth it!

We hope you've enjoyed this episode, because you totally deserve it. We are hear cheering you on and hope to have you back tomorrow for another fresh and juicy episode! Don't forget to subscribe, follow and leave a five-star review wherever you are listening. Make it a great day!!

Unknown:

Good morning for all of my people pleasers Get your ass in here. We need to have a come to Jesus moment in the most loving way possible. So all my people pleasers, this this episode is for you if you're a recovering people pleaser, this is for you. And people pleasing shows up in all different ways. But if you find yourself saying yes to things that just don't feel good, you still have a people pleasing challenge, this can show up in your business, in your personal life in so many, so many ways. And the more we are aware of it, then we can actually do something about it. Right? So it's like, I don't want you to feel like defeated or feel like bad about it. Because then we can't, like if we just feel bad about it, we can't really do anything. But when we're like, oh, hello people, people pleaser Nelly, I see you showing up again. Right? Then we can really like step back. I'm having a hard time getting my foundation to, to do what it needs to do here. So I have noticed recently, more than ever, my boundaries are like so solid, like, like next level solid. Like if someone's like, Hey, can you get on a phone call right now? Even if I could, if it doesn't align with my energy or my day, I say, actually, I can't but I can do this date and time. Right? We are. So it's so easy, especially as a woman to just like, drop everything that you're doing, and just put everyone before you. And there's a time and a place for that. Like obviously if there's like an emergency like that makes sense. Like I don't want you to be like no deli told me not to be a people pleaser. So I'm not gonna like drop what I'm doing to like, go save somebody's life. So there's definitely like exceptions to all rules. But we just want to pay attention. I'm really hard on the struggle bus, y'all with this foundation. This is like my favorite foundation. And it's just, it's not wanting to work this morning. I've never had this issue. This is like a first world problem. There we go. Come on. Maybe it was on its side. And it's just kind of Wakin up here. So I want you to pay attention to what's on your to do list. If you don't love what's on your to do list. Your people pleasing, whether it's your day job or your business or both, right? There are some people pleasing there, because you either said yes to something that you really didn't want to say yes to your if you're not in a role that you don't love, right? Or you're not taking on tasks that you don't love, right? You get to live your life in full abundance, full wealth, full joy, full happiness. Now, it's not to say that there won't be challenges, but like, there's a huge difference when you're like actually doing something that you love. And there's a challenge, versus you're not doing something that you love. And there's a challenge. It's just a whole different vibe. Am I right? So I just want you to really pay attention to your boundaries, like, when are you working with versus when you're not working? Right? What is on your to do list? What's on your calendar, these are all boundaries, right? I know for me, I need weekend time where I am not doing anything. Like I have choice. Like if I want to binge Netflix, I'm gonna binge Netflix, if I want to, like go outside with my family and like, hang out outside, I'm gonna do that. So like, I intentionally do not stuff. My weekends full boundaries are also in your finances. Right? Like, are you overspending? Are you also like putting too many boundaries on you where you're like not investing. So there, it's crazy, because like that can also show up to where you're like hoarding money. But then like you keep wanting to, like invest in things, right? So we just want to like, look at all of your boundaries, and see like, what is serving you and what is not serving you. And like, let's start to make some changes. Like even if we can't make all the changes today, we can make progress today. Right? And that progress is the most important thing ever. Like, once we have progress. We can really like get this this train going in the right direction and everything feeling amazing. And like I just stepped back and I look at like my life. And I'm like I've made huge, huge strides in a really short amount of time in the grand scheme of things right. So like this, even when it feels slow. It's actually going fast. Like I promised you as long as you can say I'm different than I was the day before we're moving right like things are moving. And obviously the bigger the moves you make the faster you You can get to your, you know, your, your destination. But my goal with you, when I'm working with you is like, let's move like we got to get moving. That's probably one of my biggest superpowers is moving. So let's get moving. Let's look at like, what is not serving you what is serving you, let's do more of that and start to put some like I like to call them like, I don't know if you've ever bowled with bumpers, but I'm a way better bowler, if I have bumpers, right? So I like to think about bumpers, right. So like, for example, for my clients, I go into telegram every Tuesday and Thursday. Now if I can go in outside of those times, I totally do. Like if it feels good, fantastic. But like, they know that's a bumper for me, right? It's not their job to remember that either. Like, they can blow me up in there. But they like, if they're like, Oh, I wonder why Nellie hasn't gotten back to me. They may like, oh, yeah, she told me like she comes in here every Tuesday and Thursday. So I'm modeling what I want them to do, right? Anytime something's on my calendar, calendar, that just doesn't feel good. I shift it and I'm open and honest about it for whatever reason, right. And so I think that's just so important, because we are human, right? Especially if you are raising kids, like you're gonna have kids that are sick, you're, you're gonna get sick, right? You're gonna have days where you just don't feel good. Maybe you started your period, right? Like, there's just so much that we can shift. And I just heard, like, I want women like getting out of the masculine, I must put my head down, I must do all of these things, and show up, you can still be in integrity and shift, right? It's being honest with people and like, you know, if there's like a speaking opportunity, and there's like 1000s of people coming to show up for you. It's not like, Hey, can we do this next week. So again, there's like always exceptions to everything. But there's so much that we don't have to do that we, that we still do. And that's really where the opportunity is, like, I really want you to look at that. Like, it could be one simple conversation, if you have a boss and say, Hey, like I would love to negotiate working two days from home, because I'm an introvert, and being in the office is actually really draining me and it's actually hurting my work. That's a boundary, right? The worst that they can do is say No, I actually worked with a client years ago. And she did that. And she negotiated, I think it was either one or two days at home. And she was so incredibly happy, right. So like, this doesn't have to just be a full time business owners like, you get to feel better, now you get to have healthier boundaries now. And it's not everyone else's job to know what your boundaries are. And also to enforce them like you are your own police. And you get to make the rules, okay, and you get to enforce the rules. And some people are gonna like it, and some people aren't. And that's probably why most, most women don't set boundaries and enforce them because they're so afraid of, you know, people not liking them. And I totally understand that. So then that's like, an opportunity to like, work through those emotions. So there's so much here to work on, but like just start small, like, just start small, maybe there's a task on your list that is just draining you that that is a boundary that we get to set, okay? That is a boundary that we get to set, and we get to enforce, because your energy is worth millions of dollars. And if we keep just giving your time away, we're never gonna get you to your wealthiest life, like it's gonna feel impossible and equal, it's not going to feel good because you're not protecting your energy. To me, that's really what boundaries are. It's protecting your energy, protecting your time, protecting really, your dreams, at the end of the day, it is protecting your big, big dreams. And it is no one else's job. But yours. Like, the more we can take extreme responsibility and you don't have to be a bitch about it either. Like, every time one of my top level clients say hey, like, can you hop on a call right now? If I truly can't, right, because of so many other reasons. Like I'm not going to be my best self. Then I say, I can't do right now but I can do this. Right? And if they came back and said like, no, like, I really need you now. Then I'd be like, Okay, let me like give me 10 minutes. Because the most important thing with this is it's it's a two way street, right? When two people respect each other. There can be obviously like a give and take like we do this in our marriage often, where I'm like, Oh, I have this idea. And oh, this feels good to me. This doesn't feel good to me. And then like we finally come up with like, a win win, right? Like that's the goal with boundaries. is that it's a win win. Now for the other party, it may not be a win win. And we get to decide like what we do moving forward with that person. But there's so many solutions. And that's really what I want you to step into, I want you to be like super, super duper solution base. But like, it's gonna require you speaking up and it like, that's why I say start small. Because if you haven't been doing this, it's going to feel a little scary. But once you start to get some relief, right, like, for me, I just don't love working nights and weekends, like I work during the day. And so if I keep filling my nights and my weekends, I don't see my family, and then my cup, like my cup is empty, and then my family's cup is empty, and then everything starts to feel really wonky. So it is very, very, very rare for me, like I have a fundraising event on Friday night, for a few hours, but then I have nothing the rest of the weekend, right. So like being very, very mindful of like, if there's a, if there's an exception, it's an exception. And it's not like a common thing. So I just want you to protect your big goals and dreams. And how we do that is setting like rock solid boundaries, with your finances, with your calendar with your To Do lists with your energy, and any thing else to help create the bumpers. So you can strike out. Because I'm a way better bowler with bumpers, and I'm gonna guess that perhaps you are too unless you're just like a secret, amazing bowler that I just don't know, like an Olympic bowler that is a thing that is a thing. So I want you to think of one way that you can set a boundary today, maybe it's with the person, maybe it's on your to do list. Maybe you want to take like a no phone break every day for a certain amount of time. But there's just so many opportunities for boundaries. And we're never done like, my kids are growing, right? Like my business is growing. So like it's going to require updates just like your phone does, right? So this is not just a one and done thing. This is constant, which can be a little exhausting, but then we can reframe it to be like, No, I'm protecting my big, wealthiest dreams by continuing to update my boundaries. So look for one today, get some momentum. Let me know which boundary you set because I would love to hear. And I'm just so freaking excited for you. We have so many things happening at the wealthy Queen movement. I'm like trying to keep up in the best way possible. There's going to be huge opportunities for personal growth, huge opportunities for people to make money. Huge opportunities to get involved in our nonprofit that we are starting here. Like so many opportunities, like there is a place for you at the wealthy Queen movement, if you want it and I know sometimes it can be like, but I just don't know how I fit in. So don't let that stop you from having a conversation with us. We often book calls if you're just like, hey, I'm just trying to figure out like, what you guys do, how I fit in all of the things because we really love to hear like from you like what your goals are. And that's actually way easier for us than you like trying to pick from the cheesecake menu of like, what do I do, because there's just so much that we can do to support you. And I understand that that can be overwhelming. But like don't like my ask of you is like don't let that stop you from like having a conversation with us. It's kind of like when you like are like thinking about going to college and like you're like I don't know what major don't let that stop you from like going after your goals right like going for education. So the same is true here. There's just so many ways that we can support you. My dream is to have like a quiz where it can ask you like all these questions and then it like pops out like an answer for you. Because I just think that would be really really cool. So let's let's check the check the makeup see how I did I think I need a little bit more blush here. All right, time for coffee time for the first meeting. But yeah, let us know we would love to chat with you about your goals. Everything going on. There's just so many ways to get involved in what we're doing. There's nothing like the wealthy Queen movement out there you will not find something like us. We are truly one of a kind and magic is happening here and I want you to be a part of it. So make it a great day. Love you